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  • Writer's pictureCarina V

Signs of showing up like low value woman on your twin flame journey

This post is inspired by a TikTok video, and I wanted to add my own thoughts.

Please note: if these signs resonate, it doesn’t mean you are of low value, just that your perception of yourself might be, and that is what is being conveyed in your actions or energy on your journey. It is also not shameful to have feelings of low self worth, for these are most likely a result of conditioning or past experiences. No one sets out to act or feel unworthy.

The intention of this post is to help bring awareness so that you may start to shift some of this in your own journey. And personally, I don’t just think it’s about trying to force changes in your habits or behaviour, but rather by working on your relationship with yourself that these shifts take place in your energy, and then your behaviour and habits naturally follow.

Signs of showing up like a low value woman:

  • Trying to win your twin flame over desperately, doing whatever it takes. Now this can be a beautiful thing and come from a place of strength, but when coming from desperation, it conveys low value energy. The difference here is “I will do whatever it takes to prove my worth” (low value) vs. “I will do whatever it takes, because I love you” (high value). When coming from a low value energy, it is a way of placing your twin flame energetically on a pedestal, as if to say, “I’m not worthy of you”.

  • Playing games or trying to strategise ways to win them over. Now, I do think it can be mature and even wise to have an awareness of energy, specifically also insight into masculine and feminine energy and the interplay of these and to be conscious with your intention about this energy. But that is different to strategising from a manipulative space because you feel unworthy.

  • Obsession. It’s a bit of a follow on from the previous point, but in this case, it can manifest as spending a great deal of mental and emotional resources on someone. It can take the form of watching endless tarot or card readings. It is a way of feeling very invested in someone without them necessarily having invested in you, or even giving them the space to, or even feeling a mismatch between how energetically invested you feel and what you have actually been able to build together. One way this can come about is visualisation or daydreaming. Now I believe in the power of visualisation, but the difference here often comes down to an energy of control, which is an energy communication low value.

  • Not being able to enjoy space apart, or feeling insecure in giving them some space.

  • Poor boundaries. Strong and healthy boundaries that you are confident communicating and upholding communicate that you know your worth. It indicates what you will and will not tolerate or accept in relationships with others. It means being willing to walk away from relationships and situations where you are not being met with love. Another way poor boundaries can manifest is in trying to be a rescuer. Now, it’s ok to offer help and support, but that is different from stepping into a rescuer role and trying to save or fix someone, especially your twin flame.

  • Ignoring issues, and sweeping them under the rug, trying to "keep the peace" or "not rock the boat", rather than bringing them up to be resolved.

  • All of these are forms that chasing energy can manifest as, and chasing energy all communicates an energy of low value. Another way to identify some of these behaviours is codependent behaviours, specifically around subjugating self, dismissing yourself or your own needs, or trying to seek approval.

Now, it could be that you don’t like yourself, as was suggested by the TikTok video I saw that inspired this video. I certainly had unhealed hurt around liking myself that contributed to some of this behaviour in my life, but long after I had learned to like myself, I was still struggling with a lot of these things. I think another aspect of this is not knowing what it is like to be delighted in. If you were conditioned through certain experiences to think transactional ways of relating are normal, or you are used to being taken advantage of, or your love being rejected, I think the idea of being a delight - simply for the essence of who you are - is as foreign as it gets, even if you do like yourself.

Another thing to note is that seeking connection and attachment is natural. We are social beings and we are wired for connection. Attachment, as research suggests, is not even a choice.

Signs of showing up like high value woman on your twin flame journey:

You might think, "ah it’s just the opposite of the previous signs", and that's not untrue, and you could just flip all those signs, but here are some additional signs.

  • Being focused on yourself, your own goals, your own life, and making these a genuine priority that is not shaken by outside circumstances, by your twin flame, or what they are doing or not doing. This contributes to you building a strong inner base within yourself. Having a strong inner base means you won’t be purely dependent on seeking validation from your twin flame or other relationships, but it does not mean you can’t rely on them. It means that you won’t compromise yourself at the expense of your own worth in order to have your worth validated by others.

  • Embodying your feminine energy:

  • Being in tune with your feminine energy means moving more into a space of observing. Being in flow with your emotions, tuned into them, relaxing into a more receptive state of being, and then observing, and not taking what you are observing so personally. This communicates energetically that you know you are worthy, and your worth is not determined by their reaction to you.

  • Softening into your feminine also means naturally there is a desire to nurture (note: not mother your man, but nurture and support). There is a generosity of spirit flowing from abundance and knowing your own worthiness. However, if this is not being appreciated or valued, from a place of unconditionally loving yourself, you don’t keep pouring that love out. Feminine energy is about intelligently responding, flowing like water.

  • Drawing your strength from Mother Nature and being in tune with the natural cycles. This is from my own personal experience, and if it doesn’t resonate with you, that’s ok.

The good news is, you can use all of your relationships as training grounds for shifting some of this within yourself. You don’t need to wait to be in a romantic setting or relationship, or wait for your twin flame to work on any of this. If there are wounds around low self worth, they will manifest in all relationships and settings, and similarly, once you start to work on this within yourself, it will start to reflect in all relationships and in all settings.


If you would like help or support on your twin flame or spiritual journey, or would like to learn how you can start to shift some of these things in your life and relationship with yourself, you might like to consider working with me.

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