Signs of a twin flame
And how these signs can be used to see if they are not your twin flame
Everyone will have their own experience of discovering whether someone truly is their twin flame or not, but I have found there are some clear signs that can be used (of course, when applied intelligently). I found these signs specifically relevant for my own journey, firstly for distinguishing when someone wasn't my twin flame, and then recognising my twin flame.
These signs are written in the form of being applied to a relationship you are currently in with a person you may, or may not, consider your twin flame.
Please note: I personally do not believe that a twin flame union is meant to be abusive, and should not be used to enable an abusive relationship. If you are experiencing abuse, seek help and support, place boundaries, or end the relationship.
One of the most well-known signs of your twin flame is the feeling of being home with them. With anyone else, even though you might feel familiarity and connection, it doesn't compare to the feeling of home that you feel with your twin flame. One of the most beautiful things is, this feeling of home grows with time.
I think one of the main things to point out, though, is that "home" doesn't mean "comfort zone". Rather, it means feeling loved and accepted for who you are and offering the same, while still encouraging and supporting each other's growth and wellbeing. So if the person you are with does not feel like home, as in, you don't recognise yourself in them, or you experience a great deal of friction together, it is likely a sign they are not your twin flame. Do note that if we are not working to become aware of our unconscious aspects, what CG Jung referred to as our shadow, we might not be open to recognising ourselves with the person who is in fact our twin flame. Our twin flame is our divine mirror.
The next sign is realising that your vision for your life does not align with that of the person you are with. You and your twin flame have a vision that does align, though you might still both be aligning in some aspects of it when coming into your union, and your vision might even grow as you share that with your twin flame. What that means is, if you realise there is no way for you to actually align in your vision, in a genuine way, it likely isn’t your twin flame.
This means taking the time to gain clarity on the vision you hold for your life, deciding on what is important to you, is incredibly valuable for yourself and your twin flame union. Your vision for your life might naturally evolve and change, but being with your twin flame won't require you to artificially adjust or change your vision in an inorganic way.
For example, if one of you in your union truly and deeply desires to have children, but the other doesn't, and both have clarity on this, it clearly points to an incompatible vision. Another example might be that one of you wants to travel for a significant part of your life, but the other doesn't share that desire, and isn't ok with their partner travelling on their own. Some might argue that a compromise might be worth it, but that might very well lead to resentment or feeling unfulfilled in life. Although seeing your vision come to life requires sacrifice - and what I mean here by sacrifice is: paying a cost upfront as a worthwhile investment, as you see the benefit being reaped down the line - you might readily sacrifice when you see that it is worth it.
The next sign is recognising that there is a distinctive mismatch in your values in the essence of who you are. You and your twin flame are matched when it comes to core values since you will share the same core values, even if you express these values differently. Values run deeper than interests. For example, you might recognise you deeply value compassion, and the way that you express it is through loving service (working as a healer, etc.), while your twin flame might express that through becoming involved in outreach projects, having a family, or similar. If you value compassion, but it is not something the person you are with cares much about, it is likely not your twin flame.
In a similar way, if you feel you have to fundamentally alter or change aspects or parts of yourself to fit with the person you are with, it is very unlikely to be your twin flame. Even though the twin flame journey is one of incredible and profound transformation, in many ways, it is more a shedding of layers of who you are not, rather than actually changing who you truly are.
You and your twin flame will continue to grow closer together, and the love you experience and share will deepen, as long as you both are open to it. Even as you face challenges, these will only support you in your union as you willingly face them together. If you realise you and the person you are with are growing apart, or that challenges seem only to cause greater rifts in your relationship, without the potential for resolving this, or with the mutual investment in resolving this, it is likely not your twin flame.
It is important to note that the level of maturity and responsibility in you and your counterpart might affect this particular sign. If you have not yet learned how to reflect and work on aspects within yourself, to take responsibility for yourself and your life choices, this might very well manifest as projecting onto your twin flame, and contribute to pushing your twin flame away, rather than growing together. However, once this is worked on, it will naturally reflect in your twin flame union.
Communication with your twin flame happens on many levels, and this goes deeper than just a telepathic communication, as you can also experience telepathy with others. If you feel like the person you are with is speaking an entirely different language to you, or that you feel you struggle to be on the same page, or to arrive at the same page, it is unlikely to be your twin flame. You will notice this most effectively if you work to communicate from the heart, with vulnerability, openness and honesty. That doesn't mean you won't still experience some miscommunication in your twin flame union; but it will be possible to work through and resolve it.
With twin flames, in a sense it feels as though the conversation continues on even if there is no verbal exchange taking place. There really is no hiding when it comes to being with your twin flame. For example, you might be meditating on or visualising something in particular, or wrestling with a specific question. When you talk to your twin flame next, the topic is very likely to come up naturally, or it might feel like a continuation of the conversation you were having with yourself (and your twin flame's higher self). Now, you may even experience this with other people, where you feel that connectedness on a soul level, but the difference is that while it sometimes happens with others, it is very regular and much more the norm with twin flames.
There might be other common signs, but these ones are fundamental in my experience. My encouragement to you would be to allow yourself to embark on your own journey of discovery, rather than clinging too tightly to the signs. Your heart knows how to recognise your twin flame, so an honesty inquiry within will lead you to the truth, and it is most important that you learn to discern for yourself and to trust your inner knowing.
If you would like support in learning how to navigate your twin flame journey, you may consider working with me.